I don't have a good picture for this one but felt like writing it. I've been feeling like I was caught in a spiral lately, not a good thing. I turned 45 at the end of June and suddenly felt like I'd accomplished nothing. If I were a cliché, I'd be driving around in a red porche! I kept looking at web sites and shopping trying to find the perfect thing that would make me happy. Surely if I had the right clothes and makeup I'd be happy? Maybe if I lost 10 pounds (not going to happen while I was visiting the office vending machine every afternoon) then I'd be happy? Then, after a lot of thought, and a very good yoga class, I realized that only I could make me happy. If I want to lose weight, I can. My clothes are great and I don't need to buy more. I'm the compliance director at a hedge fund, so I'm pretty sure I'm not stupid. It was like a light bulb and a huge weight falling off my back. It seems silly now, like that should have been evident to me. But it wasn't, but now it is.
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I so know where you are coming from. I have to tell you that I feel like this every now and again. I feel frazzled and feel I am not doing enough for others. I recently realized that I have to tend to myself before I can help others. And there are a lot of others that I am attending to.
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