I've been thinking about happiness alot. What is it? Am I happy? If I'm not happy, what would make me happy? The book The Happiness Project was recomended by a friend and I will be picking it up, hopefully today. Let me explain why sometimes I wonder if I really am happy.
The past, well 7 years, have been very stressful. My husband started his own company after being laid off when the dot com bubble burst here in Silicon Valley. He was laid off almost 18 months before he started his company. This in and of itself is usually stressful. We already had one child but then we had twins, one of whom is autistic. My oldest son was discovered to be dyslexia and dysgraphic. Due to the poor economy, I went from being a stay at home mom (which I loved) to having to go back to work full time to a job I don't like. I turned 40.
Ok, wow that sounds bad. It is the dwelling on these things that make me feel sad. Let me see if I can turn it around. My husbands company is still in business, despite the horrid economic climate. It's even started to make some money. My son who is autistic is extremely high functioning. He is in a mainstream first grade class and doing well. His challenges exist but they are not glaringly difficult in comparrison to many. My older son works hard and is not frustrated by his learning issues. He is extremely sweet and tries so hard. While I don't love my job, I do it very well and it pays me extremely well. I feel fortunate to have it, it saved my family. I may have turned 40 but my husband and I have been married 15 years and are very close.
Ok, that sounds better. I am trying to concentrate on turning those negative thoughts around. Remember how people used to say "Turn that frown upside down"? When I start to dwell on the dark side I try and turn it around. Exercise helps as does just sitting down with a cup of tea and thinking about how blessed I really am. Thanks for letting me vent! The picture is on of my lovely family taken last Christmas. It's to remind me what is important in life!