Wednesday, January 27, 2010

To many Balls in the Air

This post can be subtitled "I hate Being a Working Mom". I really loath it. I don't loath my job. it's interesting and I'm good at it. It also pays suitably well which is why I do it. But being a working mom sometimes to me feels like always letting someone down or letting something fall through the cracks. Example, I have 3 kids, one in 3rd grade, one in first and one in kintergarden. The kintergardener has some learning disabilities in that although not classicly autistic, he does have some behaviors on the autistic spectrum. The 3rd grader is dyslexic and has other learning disabilities relating to language arts.

When I worked part time (up until about 18 months ago) I dropped them off at school everyday and picked them up twice a week. I was on campus alot. Now I do drop them off but only at the curb and don't get home until 7. In time to yell at everyone about unfinished homework and bed time. Now, don't get me wrong, my hubby is great. He gets home about 4:30 and makes dinner and tries to deal with the homework issues.

The Kintergarden teacher called to let me know that the little guy has been somewhat mouthy in class and not his usual sweet self. In fact, he grabbed another little boy around the neck today in line. He maintains this little boy bit him. The other little boy denied the bitting and the teacher said he didn't see the actual incident. Still, clearly an issue.

Anyway, the upshot is, now of course I feel like a complete failure. Guilt rides a white horse. I don't really have any other option but to keep working and knowing this makes it worse. Just a venting post about a crummy day. Sorry for the doom and gloom.

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