Thursday, August 18, 2011

How to be Lovely and Why it Matters

My daughter's favorite expression is "isn't that lovely!" But her brother asked me the otherday what thay actually meant. I found myself explaining that being lovely was more than pretty and that being lovely was something to aspire to as a person as well as in looks. Here is a list of what I think a lovely person is.

1. She (or he) is kind. This person asks you how you are, how your fmaily is and is generally interested in your response. If you are having a rough time a lovely person listens to you and can sympathize. They will even follow up later with a call or note yo check on you. This is the same person who shows up with soup when she has heard you are sick or with flowers when your mother dies.
2. A lovely person respects others and their time. If he or she says they will be somewhere or do something, they follow through. You know you can count on this person. If they become aware they are running late or can't complete a task , they let you know so you can make other arrangements. They do this in a timely fashion, not at the last minute and which leaves you scrambling.

3. A lovely person treats everyone the same. She does not assume she is better than someone because of who she is or what she has. This person appreciates advice from others and does not respond to a rude comment with further nastiness.

4. A lovely person respects herself and is appropriately dressed and turned out for the occasion at which you might see them. Not wearing an oepra gown at the park or pajamas to the grocery store.

I'm starting to sound preachy so I will stop. I often feel that in today's hyper wired society manners and all that goes with them has gone the way of the 8 track. Why call someone if you can text, why write a think you letter if you can email? Manners and elegance seem to be less important to so many because they are a "bother" or "to formal". But that does not have to be the case. It is possible to be lovely and elegant and still be casual. Isn't that what we are all striving for?

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