I met my sister for dinner the other night with both our daughters (mine is almost 8, hers is 3). Both girls were dressed in their fancy best since going out with mommy night is a sacred ritual. I wanted to complient both girls on how nice they looked but refrained from starting the conversation out on that notes because I had read the totally amazing post on the Huff post Books site by Lisa Bloom about how to talk to little girls. To read the full article, just follow the link http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-bloom/how-to-talk-to-little-gir_b_882510.html?ref=fb&src=sp%22
The article makes an excellent point that if we want our daughters to think of themselves as people with ideas and opinions first then we need to treat them that way. That starting onversations with girls by complienting their appearance teaches them that appearance is what is valuable about them I mean, no one is going to open a conversation with my 11 year old son by telling him how cute he looks. They are going to ask him what books he has read, who his favorite baseball team is, what he likes in school. But conversations with my daughter often start with how nice she looks. I really took that article to heart. My daughter is extremely bright and has strong opinions about lots of things. I want her to know that this is what people are interested in first. That what she thinks is more important that how she looks or what she wears.
So next time you are introduced to a young girl, or just get home and great your own, remember to ask about what they learned in school, or what they read or something more than how they look.